Keep falling, keep rolling

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250 lbs (or maybe 300 lbs, been eating every hour)

9.30 AM

Woke up from a sweet dream about my mom.  We were vacationing somewhere with nice beaches, probably Bali.  Desperately needing a vacation now.  And I want my mom.

I need a break.

11.37 AM

Been listening to 'Happier' by a Fine Frenzy and 'Horizon' by Rachel Yamagata over and over for like two hours.  Feel totally sick of these songs now.

I need changes, I don't want to go back to that path again and again with the same person.

12.03 PM

A friend just called, asking for brunch.  Have to say no, can't go out with this condition.

2.14 PM

I'm all surprised.  Just cleaned my room, after almost a month.  Moped the floor twice, all shiny now!  This can be a good start, I feel better already.  Just remember I bought a new bed sheet set from Marta Steward the other day.

2.31 PM

Looking good.  Now I can move on to the wall pictures.

3.19 PM

Hurrah!  It looks not bad at all, some of the pictures are from magazines and fashion books, some are the print outs I did months ago.  V. impressed.

3.32 PM

Scanning through the rest of the room.  Eyes catch those photo frames at the corner.  Feeling a little upset.  Gah!  

Okay.  Don't panic.  Just have to quickly print out some happy pictures.

4.22 PM

Photo printer almost running out of color ink.  The color is horrible, but still manage to print out 2 pictures, one of myself, and the other with my mom and sister.  Will hide the rest of the frames until get a new ink.

5.16 PM

Just showered and washed my hair.  Feeling even better already, now craving for sweet stuff!

5.34 PM

My sister just asked if I want to go out for grocery shopping and IHOP.  Couldn't say no, what a perfect call.  Going to get ready now.

5.48 PM

Not so surprise anymore and manage to recover better than before.  I guess part of me just knew that this will happen again.

Say hi to granny Sanny.

Everything Forever 21, except cardigan - thrifted

Total spending of the day: $30 (also v. good), I can do this myself, he is not needed to remind me how much I need to save every week anymore.

Good light, good business

111.60 lbs

9.36 AM

Don't panic. It's only an increment of 0.20 lb each day since Monday, does not mean the entire plan to go back to 108 lbs is a failure.  Probably due to lack of nature's call lately (he must be mad at me for complaining so much each time I had to wake up in the middle of the night to answer his call).

12.37 PM

Received an email from the Monsieur, he was supposed to send this person a very important work email about his business, but he emailed it to me instead.  

12.53 PM

Just talked to him about his mistake.

Couldn't help but giggling.  Always enjoy this very rare moment when he makes his little mistake and I get to tell him about it, in which he got to do to me so often due to my clumsiness, and he has to promise that he will be more careful next time.  Heheh!

1.02 PM

Had been dealing with all work related stuff.  Most remain pending and I may have to stay late today.  Gah!

1.17 PM

Now have to deal with a customer in Mexico.  It was so hard to reach him while his employees barely speak English.

3.35 PM

Finally got in touch with the customer.  Will have to wait for another hour for his call back.

4.50 PM

Still hasn't heard back from the customer.  I guess I will have to call him again.

4.55 PM

It was his employee that was on the phone telling me to call back tomorrow at 2 PM.  Gah!

5.03 PM

Received a message from a friend asking why I hardly contact her unless she does it first.  I told her it's because each time I did, I would then want to see her but we hardly made it, and that makes me sad.  Then she apologizes.  Heheh!  I still love her!

5.10 PM

The good thing is now I can leave early and deal with work stuff tomorrow.  Will go to pick up dinner at aunt's and eat at home while watching TV.

9.12 PM

Just watched Community, which I don't like much, and 30 Rock, love it!  It was so funny when Liz tried to get her staff to like her but failed all the way at the end, also the part where the staff found out a spelling website with Jack's voice (which he made for Princeton University and they sold it), was v. funny too!

Now I'm watching The Office.

10.02 PM

Outsourced has just ended.  

Will make a blog post then read blogs before bed, my bedside lamp is all set after 3 attempts of buying the right bulb and the last one was a success!  Hurrah!

Can't wait for Harry Potter tomorrow, I fell asleep in its first 5 movies, only started to enjoy the 6th last year.  I'm also excited because Clemence Poesy is in it!

Total spending of the day: $28 (v. good)

Dress - Twitch Vintage, belt - Anthropologie, tights - Benetton, shoes - Free People

Loving, living, everything

10.57 AM

Had a very long dream about my life before the Monsieur, when I was still in school and lived with my cousin, who was bossy and caused a lot of cat fights between us, and having bipolar symptoms at that time.  Glad that it was just a dream and we are in a pretty good term these days.

12.14 PM

Hurrah!  Very proud of self.  Told some friends that I couldn't hang out today, straight to their faces, and ignored any kind of persuasions.

1.31 PM

Just ordered a cooked turkey from Whole Foods online (how convenient) to be picked up on the 24th.  So in the mood for Thanksgiving already, will get eggnog tomorrow.  Hurrah!

2.27 PM

My sister just asked if I would want to go to Ikea with her.  Very tempting.  I could just go and look around, some sort of window shopping.  It shouldn't be that hard not to buy anything, right?  I'm going to say yes then get ready.

Scarf, sweater top & mini dress - Forever 21, shoes - Candela NYC

11.02 PM

Finally home.

So we went to the bank, grocery shopping, had waffles and toasts at IHOP, Ikea, and dinner at the Korean Soft Tofu House.

Not supposed to shop for unnecessities, but couldn't resist buying these stuff, a wall fiberboard picture for just $9.99, alarm clock for just $5.99, and a bedside lamp for just $17.98 (lamp base $7.99, shade $7, and bulb).  I need that alarm clock for morning call, using my cell phone has wasted my phone battery and a bedside lamp is needed for me to read before falling asleep (so I could turn it off easily), therefore I could turn off the bedroom light when I'm off to bed, it's an investment to save electric bill.

Just realized buying the wrong bulb for the lamp.  Don't panic.  Will only need to buy a new one that will fit tomorrow.

Still couldn't figure where to hang that wall picture.  Why did I buy it in the first place?  Gah!

Spending of the day:

Grocery $28.38

IHOP $21

Gas $20

Ikea $37.22

Total: $106.60

That's not all bad, right?

A kit may not fly at night

112.80 lb.

11.29 AM

Got to stick to my diet schedule for not having red meat on weekdays.

Arrived at the office more than half an hour late, but at least my sister's car is up and running now.

12.52 PM

Reading the testimony and stories of Elizabeth Smart that was kidnapped and raped at the age of 14 by a pair of psychopaths for 9 months.  Who would know how many psychopaths are around us and what they will do next and who will be their victims?  

Gah!  Just realized there were many conditions that it might happen to me for being such a careless and clumsy person.  I wish this will never happen to me, people I love, and any of you girls.

1.51 PM

Just reply a work email to my boss.

Continue on reading the testimony of Elizabeth Smart.

Work interruption.  Gah!  Some more work emails to send out.  I'm a dedicated employee.  Teehee!

About Elizabeth Smart testimony.  How sick those people could get?  So the kidnapper referred whatever he had done as 'the work of God', and that she was called by God to be his wife before the second coming of Jesus Christ.  He even told her that she was very lucky and that she was being saved from the world, that she had been called by God.

(Interested in reading more on this story?  Here (Part 1 of her testimony), Here (Part 2), and Here (Part 3)

More work stuff to take care.

5.24 PM

Had dropped my boss' daughter to her art lesson.  It's almost time for home!  Hurrah!

Told the Monsieur about Elizabeth Smart and just remembered how some guy knocked on my car window when I was at the light in an empty street the other day.  The Monsieur had to repeat his words again, that I shouldn't be over friendly to strangers or out in the street by myself late at night.

Bought a mini sofa from a friend's furniture store.  Very cute and only cost me $30.

Much smaller than I expected.  But it matches the color of my living room sofa, can treat it as a nice add on.

7.48 PM

Just done watching the Golden Girls 'Bedtime Story', such an entertaining episode, while eating ramen with egg, talking to the Monsieur, and Blackberry messaging with a friend.  I'll call today my multi tasking day.

9.35 PM

Just found out one of my ex is finally in a relationship again, after we broke up in 2006.  I felt bad the day we broke up because I treated him so bad, and one of our friends told us that he was hurt terribly.  This news made my night even better!  Hurrah!

Total spending of the day: $30.00

I actually got goosebumps while editing these pictures.  My expression and the colors made me feeling like I didn't even recognize myself!

I'm such a forgetful person!  I forgot where I bought my outfit except that sweater top that I received last week from Twitch Vintage, the best vintage clothing store at eBay, ever!  The owner, Robyn, is super nice and fun!

Opinions and onions are not easy to digest

My Saturday recap.

3.14 PM 

111.60 lb. Second week on so called diet.  Weight the same as last week.  At least able to maintain after losing about 3 pounds last week.  See the bright side.  Will have a cup of tea tonight.  

Decided to write a journal, Bridget Jones' style.

Haven't heard back from my friend regarding the Pajama party at her place which she was supposed to confirm with us.  Just told my other friend that it was not worth waiting when someone didn't really want to see us.  We then decided to go shopping at Macy's, dinner, then movie.  Wanting to get an eye liner from Lancome with my $25 Macy's gift card (got it for free from my $45 credit participating in e-rewards.com).  Hurrah!

Gah!  Clicked the wrong button, was supposed to link to Ideeli page, not to unsubscribe.  Placed the following items to my AmEx card.  Hope  this month's Credit Card charge won't exceed my budget.

 lucca BUTTON FRONT SKIRT

 red kangol MODELAINE BERET

lucca LACE INSET KNIT DRESS

Each time thinking back about the Monsieur and what happened yesterday at work, feeling a little down.

Just watch a white Christmas episode of the Golden Girls.  Wishing to see some snows now.  Actually was quite disappointed reading the news the other day that there won't be much snow this season.

Going to watch next episode of Golden Girls now (season 2 episode 12, The Sisters).

3.56 PM

Done with 'The Sisters'.  Was wondering if senior in Sicily really talked like Sophia and Angela.  "Picture it.  New York City, December 1953".  That will be super interesting.

Okay, continue on next episode, The Stan who Came to Dinner.

4.23 PM

Just remembered a friend is dating a Sicilian, will it be appropriate if I ask him about the way old Sicilian talk?

Continue on 'The Actor'.  Then will shower, and get ready to go out.

12.35 AM (about that)

Got home.  Shopping was fun!  Been eyeing (found out online) for the goodie bag from Lancome for $49.50 (value up to $300), applying for a Macy's card which means another 20% off! Hurrah!  Split with a friend, which means only paid half.  I got a lipstick, cheek brush, cheek color, lip gloss, eye make up removal, make-up bag, everything full size!  A separate eyebrow pencil and liquid eye liner.  Everything Lancome, everything 20% off!

Lancome Beauty Sensation

We went to Olive Garden for a nice meal.  Loving the blackberry lemonade.  Another hurrah!

Ended the night watching Due Date at 10 PM.  Despite its bad review, the movie was hilarious.  We laughed so hard that I almost died.  Hahah!

Okay, was not supposed to spend that much.  Been reading Shopaholic again from my sister's Kindle, in exchange, she is reading Something Borrowed from my iPad.  Really considering a self-help book for saving and managing money now.

My friend who invited us for the Pajama party just texted me, apologizing.  She didn't call because she had a family emergency at her sister's.  She didn't want to lose me and will never not love me, promise will make it up.  Note to self, next time find out first before making further action or judgement.

Stomach ache.  Going to answer nature's call, wash face, read blogs, continue reading Shopaholic then fall asleep.

1 AM

Okay, need to make some tea as promise to self before read blogs and the rest.

After doing so many things why is it only 1 AM?

Gah! Just realize that the daylight saving time has ended.

Total spending of the day: $129.05. Gah! Gah! Gah!

We got used to us

My heart was pounding so fast when I read an email on Wednesday from Jackie from Style Forecasts (check her out, she is utterly fabulous!).  I won a blog giveaway for the first time, so excited! Heheh!

That's the thing about me is, when I'm bothered, I lose my appetite.   I was reminded today how the Monsieur and I ended things most of the time, the major reason was his stubbornness, which sometimes could be really hurtful.  And this time, although it had nothing to do about us, it still affected me.  Some customers could really be pain in the neck but what can we do about it?  I choose to remain professional and avoid all the stupidity acts, don't take them over seriously,  and stick to our job commitment.  But not to the Monsieur, he had to go against them when they got on his nerves.  I reminded him, even begging him today to not take any silly action to something that is not worth at all and may cause harm to himself.  But being him means to listen to nobody but his own angry head.  I figure that's the imperfection side of him.  I lost appetite at dinner just by thinking about the damage.  Good thing is, it's weekend already!  YAY!

 Had to spend 2 hours with this new guy, who couldn't stop talking about financial and tax related stuff with whole lots of questions.  Well, I do enjoy talking about those more serious stuff but not for straight 2 hours!  I even reminded him that I wanted to go home and he didn't seem to get it.  How unconscious some people can be?  Now I even prefer the awkward guy who works at the bank, at least his awkwardness left me time to enjoy my surrounding.

My friend and I are invited to another friend's house for some Pajama party tomorrow because she got the house all to herself this weekend.

Any big weekend plan?

I'm going to watch Omen (1976) now, it better be good!  Such a long week!

The Mark Darcy kind

Such a long day.  Was by myself at the office, the other guy had a day off for his cat spaying operation, the rest of the people went to Las Vegas for a show that our company participated.  Was freaked out a little due to enormous calls from customers for technical issues, in which I don't have much knowledge in that area.  I guess because today was the election day, people had more free time.  Some customers had been quite harsh, it hurt me.  Kept telling myself to stay positive, not the end of life, it will be better tomorrow!

How was your day?  It had to be better than mine (:

Missing the Monsieur, terribly.  He used to be there to tell me that it will be fine, we will work it out together, and there was nothing for me to worry.  I really need to be brave and depend on myself only.  I can't even share it with my family or friends.  I guess when someone got their way to our life, and we are so used to have that person around, it's going to take some time to get used to life without that person.

It's November already, how fast!  I remembered typing how I love the red leaves when October started, now most of them have turned brownish already.  November is great as well, I always love the holiday months which are November and December!  Thanksgiving, Christmas, then New Year.  Can't wait to stuff myself with wonderful meals, presents, celebrations, and the snow!  Who doesn't love that?  But I really have to save up starting now, which seems a little too late.  The weather has dropped to below 50 during daylight and below 40 at night, sometimes 30, these few days, which is a good reason to stay at home more.

I already got some old unwatched movies on my list.  Definitely will get Heathers and Amélie due to their outstanding reviews.  Any recommendations?  I'm almost done reading 'Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason', and I'm kind of sad because I will miss reading about Bridget and Mark.  I used to read and watch Bridget Jones' Diary over and over, but the second movie disappointed me, so I didn't read the book.  But decided to read the book now as part of my staying at home plan.  Which turns out even better and more hilarious than the first book.  Couldn't help but giggling  most of the time because of the comical Bridget, and loving Mark Darcy character all over again!  Colin Firth is definitely Mark Darcy!  You know, the type of guy with mature and calm kind of charm.  So dreamy.  Heheh! I'm such a girl!

Cardigan - Urban Outfitters, dress - Forever 21, scarf - Anthropologie, tights - Benetton, shoes - Free People