My yesterday was a VOLCANO, my today was a FOUNTAIN.
Yesterday: I got sick. My head was spinning, feeling hot and cold all morning. Then my phone rang. It was him, waking me up to a realization. All these times I only cared about myself, how I felt. What about the part where I caused him many troubles? Or hurting him with my carelessness? And he always told me that it was not my fault, and I believed in his words. My fever got higher with all my thinkings, decided to leave work early. I wanted to talk to him, I needed to talk to him. But it was too late, it was unforgivable. I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep. Ate a little bit and slept. Ate another bit and slept. Slept.
Today: I woke up feeling all different. I felt fine, good. My fever was gone. I could actually think clearly. Maybe he did the right thing, if we did talk again yesterday, we may go back to that painful spot again. As bad as I felt, I realized I could not turn back time. I decided to keep on moving and see it as a lesson. I also got all cheered up looking at my wardrobe, fall is here, I'm ready for more layer outfits! And I'll be hanging out the entire weekend in New York City again for my friend's birthday!
I'm too realistic about others' involvement in my life. I've been so careful my whole life. To not get too involved with anyone. I'll always be the one that know what is best for me. And I'm not proud of it. I really think that being able to share, to let out our feeling, is a lot better. He taught me that.
I think people like changes because it's human nature to always have hopes, and people always hope that a change will lead them to a better, happier life.
I also think that pessimistic unhappy people may end up having nothing. Because dreams only come true with optimistic, happy and positive mind. And a smile is the secret weapon. "Smile, no matter how bad it is, it will get better, you will feel better, I promise," like he used to say.